Is she taken?
by JoMiSm
Summary: "I am obligated to say no." Junior agents have to figure out for themselves that The Black Widow is taken. Variation of PercyJacksontheAwesome's She Belongs to Clint Barton.


**_PercyJacksontheAwesome wrote a story I based this on, called She belongs to Clint Barton! _**

**_Disclaimer: Marvel owns the characters, and don't forget PercyJacksontheAwesome. _**

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"Welcome to SHIELD." says Agent Maria Hill, looking at a group of male SHIELD wannabes. "I am Agent Hill, and before any of you try a pickup line," she held up a pen with her professional expression never wavering. "I can kill you in ninety ways with this pen."

Her expression was deadly and serious, and the guys, muttering, backed off. Maria smiled. Good.

"Now, if you'll follow me this way," said Maria. "We can begin the tour." Perky tour guide persona startled them as they were lead into the next room.

Immediately, their senses were assaulted by the noises and sights of the large room with an even larger window. They looked around, awestruck, and almost instantly, their eyes landed on the same thing.

Top secret files?

Nope.

Scary man in an eyepatch yelling at a trembling intern?

Wrong again.

Hot redhead pulling up her hair?

Bingo.

One of the men nudged Maria. She was trying really, really hard not to kill him when she heard the usual question. "Is she taken?"

"I am obligated to say no." said Maria. She couldn't technically be 'taken.' That would require acknowledging the fact that you are compromised. Natasha lived in intense denial, but that is far too hard to explain to the idiots Maria was stuck with for the morning.

"I'm goin' for it." said the guy.

"Stay with the-" he started walking away. "-group... And he's gone." sighed Maria. She watched him walk up to Agent Romanoff.

"Hey." said the guy, leaning casually on the cooler, blocking her path to it.

Natasha threw an annoyed glance at Maria. "One of yours?" She pointed to the man, annoyed.

"I tried to stop him." Maria said halfheartedly.

The man opened his mouth to interrupt their conversation, but Natasha cut him off. "I recommend you move."

He didn't.

Natasha sighed, holding her hand out to Maria. The pen landed neatly in her hand from halfway across the room. "How many ways does she know how to kill you with it? Ninety?" The man nodded, looking unfazed. "I know double that."

He refused to look fazed.

"But you know what," continued Natasha. "I prefer a knife." Said weapon appeared at his throat. "Now, move. I've got places to be, people to kill."

He gazed at her, either brave or stupid enough not to leave. His eyes met her, and her eyes flashed with a darkness that he could actually FEEL. He scurried away, head down.

"Why'd you give up, man?!" asked one of the other men. Yeah, knives don't faze idiotic men.

The first guy shrugged noncommittally. "Wasn't worth it." he muttered.

Natasha walked past with her not-worth-the-trouble cup of water.

Her terrifying words and glares didn't stop them from watching her leave. Even after being rejected, she looked good walking away..

* * *

Almost an hour and a half later, Maria led them to a one-way mirror looking into a training room. "This is the training room. This particular one is not accessible to juniors, which is what you will be if you make it into SHIELD."

They weren't listening. Natasha'd just walked into the room.

"It's Red!" murmured one of the men.

"I know, shut up!" said one guy back.

Maria was accompanied by only one sensible man, and they stood back watching the men drool.

Through the looking-glass, they saw the room fill with men twice Natasha's size. To their astonishment, she kept her word and took them all out. It ain't braggin' if you can back it up.

When she finally stood over the last unconscious man, her eyes flitted up to the ceiling. She appeared to talk to it for a moment, thoroughly confusing all of the men. All of them nearly had a heart attack when a man fell from the air vent, provoking several curses from surprised dudes.

Neither hesitated, they just launched into sparring. Every move one of them made, the other matched perfectly. After five minutes of fluid yet pointless movement, Natasha was pinned against the wall and Clint had a knife to his throat. Their eyes met for just a moment, and then he released her, tossing a water bottle in her direction.

"I thought you said she was single!" demanded a man.

"What makes you think she isn't?" said Maria, her poker face perfect. They all saw it.

"That look. They're together." Said the man. Every single person saw it-it was obvious.

"I know that. You know that." Maria tapped the mirror. "But they don't know that."

"How does that make any sense at all-"

"This concludes our tour." cut off Maria. "If you choose to sign up for SHIELD, have the forms in by next week. If you don't, return the forms, blank, and forget today ever happened. We prefer to stay off the radar." said Maria, leading the baffled men out of the room.

With a sigh, she handed off the group to another person, going to meet the next group of men.

"Welcome to SHIELD." Began Maria again. Man, she hated Mondays.

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**:) thanks For reading. Review! **

**-JoMiSm**


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